I find myself wondering why so many people continue to say that “marriage is our most sacred institution.”
Is that a fact?
Because it seems to me that marriage, far from being sacred, is one of the most disrespected institutions, at least here in America. I would bet it’s not all that sacred in other places, either.
The whole argument for marriage gained heat, of course, as opponents of gay marriage began to lift marriage between a man and a woman as sacred, put in place by God. That’s what makes it sacred.
But when I look at marriage in this society I don’t see sacredness. Rather, I see a mockery and manipulation of the institution. Mockery because it seems that fewer and fewer people have any intention at all of being monogamous, and manipulation because people manipulate marriage for their own gain.
The sad situation involving former NFL quarterback Steve McNair and his girlfriend Sahel Kazemi got me to thinking, once again, or more accurately wondering, why anybody continues to say that marriage is sacred.
McNair was married. He had four children. And yet, he was shacking up with Kazemi, giving her lavish lifestyle that her youth could not really even appreciate. All bets are that they had a passionate relationship, full of furious and glorious sex, and that he cemented his “love” for her with money and gifts. Kazemi was smitten, and decided she wanted him for her own … but then, (and I am just surmising), McNair probably pulled out the “m” card, and declared he loved his wife.
No divorce. You were just a fling … and Kazemi probably snapped.
I wonder if she knew she wasn’t the only girlfried, according to the most recent news reports.
Then there’s Gov. Sanford, and all the other politicians who in the last few months have had their infidelity exposed. Almost every one of our so-called heroes have been unfaithful if history may be believed. Franklin Delano Roosevelt may have been beloved to scores of poor people, but to his poor wife, he was unfaithful.
So, tell me. What is sacred about marriage?
Young people want to get married in church all the time, and the first question I ask is, “why?” To be married in church, to say promises to each other before one’s God, surmises an intention to keep the promises. And maybe some people do …but it seems to me that after the wedding, the reality of being married seeps in and people forget their vows.
One person doesn’t seem to be able to satisfy the sexual appetites and the love of being in love for far too many people.
So, why get married? Joy Behar has been with her boyfriend for years. They have said no vows. Oprah Winfrey and Stedman, again, have been together, but have not said vows. It seems that for them, their relationship is sacred and special and important.
I do not think marriage is sacred. I think it should be sacred, but it is not. The idea of marriage being sacred is an ideal. If it were really sacred, infidelity would not be so rampant.
I would rather have a good relationship than a horrible marriage any day.
And that’s a candid observation.