I am trying to understand.

When the health care reform bill passed, I wept, because, finally, scores of Americans would have access to health care. People with pre-existing conditions would be able to get health insurance. I wept because I have seen too many people suffering needlessly in this country, because they haven’t had access to health care.

I knew and know that the Republicans were mad as hell about the passage of the bill, but a friend of mine, heavily involved in politics, sought to clear my confusion about the reason for their anger. I asked him how anyone could be against millions of people now having access to health care.

“It’s not that,” he said. “They are upset about the cost.”

Oh.

Well, that’s good and all, but there’s a problem here, for me, one who struggles to understand why some things are as they are in this country. My friend reminded me that Republicans don’t like big government and big spending. I didn’t reply, and he could hear the question coming.

“Doesn’t the war in Iraq cost a lot of money?” I asked, “and the war in Afghanistan? Isn’t that government spending? Isn’t that big government?” And my friend said, “That’s different. We are fighting to defend our nation.”

“Well, isn’t making sure Americans are healthy a good move, too? I mean, why is it OK to spend money to kill people and not OK to spend money to protect rights of people here?” My friend got ready to say something, but I interrupted him. “Yes, I believe health care is a right.”

And it is right there that I am stuck. I am struggling to understand an ideology that says it’s OK to spend money to kill people and fight for democracy in other countries but it’s not OK to take care of Americans.

If it is a fact that the GOP is worried about the huge amount of money “our children” are going to have to pay, why haven’t we heard about that worry as it pertains to the money they will be paying back because of the war? I’ve never heard a peep about that expense. Our deficit was bumped up to this ridiculous level because of those wars…

Meanwhile, too many Americans still cannot get health care.

A businessman-friend of mine agreed, soberly, that the fight IS about money, and, more specifically, about the “bottom line” of insurance companies. “They are fighting to protect their profits,” he said, almost apologetically. “It’s sad, but it’s the truth.”

So, does that mean that when people say “I want my country back,” they are saying they want big business, which by definition will do anything to make a buck, to remain in control? Are they saying that to be a patriot means one has to support a government run by big business and big business concerns?

America likes to set itself up and aside as a role-model nation. We are the nation which treats people right. We are the nation that others should seek to shadow …

Really? How can that be true, when many, too many, people in America cannot get the health care they need because big business is running the show? I get absolutely livid when I think that some business person sitting at a desk can and does blithely decide what treatments I can get, and when, and that same business person decides that some people will just not be able to have treatment…UNLESS they go to an emergency room.

I guess the fact that those emergency room visits drive the costs up for all who have insurance doesn’t bother folks? It doesn’t seem to bother the GOP.

At its heart, this fight for health care reform is a social movement, a movement to protect the civil rights of Americans, and all social movement legislation has run into stiff resistance. Wanting the country back seems to want the country “back” to a state where injustice was the law of the land.

It’s a candid observation … and one, which is, frankly, very painful.

Perhaps, just perhaps, if Republicans had not been so intent on making health care reform President Obama’s “Waterloo,” they might have been able to see more clearly.

Watching the partisan wrangling over the bill was rather like watching someone in a fight flailing his or her arms, rather than throwing strategic punches.

Oh, there was strategy, but it was fueled by small thinking. Republicans thought that playing to the fears of an American populace which reads little and understands less would be a good strategy. They thought that getting people like Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin and Bill O’Reilly to rile people up that their goal of defeating President Obama would be met.

Never once did I feel like Republicans cared about “the people.” When they said “the American people,” they were not talking, or it didn’t seem like they were talking, about the large numbers of Americans who had no health care or access to health care. No, they seemed to be talking about a small group of like-minded people who think that people who believe that “the masses” ought to have health care were Socialists.

Please.

When I was little, my mother used to say “pretty is as pretty does.” She would also say that when you act ugly, you get ugly. Republicans acted ugly. The “Tea Party” to me seems to be a euphemism for the Ku Klux Klan. Instead of showing concern for Americans, the Republicans instead decided to descend into name calling and fear-mongering, playing to people who think America is somehow “lost” and needs to be “taken back.”

What about the people? Not just “the American people,” that elite group, but THE PEOPLE? I just didn’t hear any Republicans voice concern about US … or, the rest of us.

The attorney general of Virginia, and AGs of several other states, are going to sue, on the grounds that the new bill is unconstitutional. Really? I find myself thinking that if it was unconstitutional, that battle cry would have been heard long ago.

No, this defeat, bitter as it is in the mouths and spirits of Republicans, is about something else. It tastes so bad because the fight was a frantic flailing of political arms, rather than intelligent debate. It was about name calling, going so far as to call a Civil Rights icon a nigger, and an openly gay lawmaker a faggot. It was about so little dignity, and so much desperation, that someone actually spit on a lawmaker.

It was small thinking that wrought this defeat, small thinking of the caliber of thinking that tore this nation apart and led to the Civil War.

America is still a divided nation, and the division is still along racial and class lines…and oh, along party lines as well. Somewhere in our idyllic description of ourselves it says “United we stand;divided we fall.”

It would seem that we are falling.

And that is a candid observation.

I am getting more and more angry at organized religion.

I know, I know. Sounds kind of weird coming from me, seeing as how I am an ordained minister, a pastor at that. But there is a difference between religion and God, between religious dogma and God’s love, and I find myself screaming in my spirit when I read what organized religion does to people.

The latest story, or maybe stories, concern “the church” and gay people. There is a Catholic school which is refusing to re-enroll the child of a lesbian couple;the child is six years old. And Catholic Charities in Washington D.C. has decided to end its adoption and foster care programs because it doesn’t want to have to serve gay couples.

I am flabbergasted and saddened… and mad.

I take some heat, trust me, for standing up for the rights of gay people, but it is the right thing to do. I keep remembering one of my favorite movies, “The Long Walk Home,” where a white woman suffered horribly as she stood up for black people and gave her maid a ride to work (her home) and took part in demonstrations of what were then called “colored people” as they fought for their rights.

When you stand up for people who are being oppressed, you get socked.

But what is the choice,the alternative, if you believe in God? The God I believe in is the God of us all. God made all of us, loves all of us, wants the best for all of us. I am reading Jon Meacham’s book, “American Lion,” a book about President Andrew Jackson,who, though he called himself a man of and for the people, considered Native Americans worthy of being removed, by any means necessary, so that the new American government could have their land.

It makes me sick.

Either God is good or God is not. There is no middle ground. Either God is love or God is not. God cannot “sort of” love us and God certainly cannot ordain the way we treat people who are different. What is the hue and cry really about when it comes to homosexuality? Gay people are American citizens. They have fought for this country and died for this country,and yet,this country treats them like they are …the scum of the earth …and organized religion, that institution which is supposed to represent God and God’s love, treats them the same.

People say “the Bible says …” and then they give the couple of verses they have been taught without bothering to learn the history or understand the culture when those words were written. They say homosexuality is an abomination, but fail to mention all the other things which the Bible lists as abominations.

Meanwhile, some of God’s children weep and suffer …at the hands of organized religion.

Do not get me wrong. I am no hero and people I try to defend in the name of God hold no loyalty to me. I am an African American woman, and I have had gay men reject me and my ministry because I am a woman. Organized religion, at it again. People use the words of Paul to justify sexism as well. So, the oppressed practice the oppression they know so well.

But I still cry out in my spirit for what organized religion does to too many people. Where is God in the hatred,the oppression, the discrimination? Why is it that more people are not willing to stand up for the God they say they love and worship? Why aren’t more people willing to take a long walk home in the name of divine love and justice?

I just don’t get it. I probably never will.

That’s a candid observation.

Well, I think I’ve heard it all now.

There was a story this morning on the TODAY Show that reported that certain major retailers are selling used underwear.

I wanted to die, or puke, or both. What in the world???

With hidden cameras, reporters took underwear back to stores, marked so that they would know if their “used” products were retagged and put back out for sale. Sure enough, cameras showed clerks taking the so-called “used” underwear, retagging it and putting it back on the racks or tables.

The report came after an employee of one of the retailers blew the whistle. This woman said that she’d seen it done. In instances where the underwear had an odor, she said the items were hung up overnight to give the odor a chance to dissipate, and then the products were put back out for sale.

Items retagged included panties, thongs, and bathing suits.

When reporters were doing their experiments, they “stained” some of the underwear with baby oil to see if it too would be put back out for sale, marked again on the manufacturer’s label so they could be identified. And, sure enough, the “stained” items were for sale.

Talk about disgusting!

We’re not talking about discount stores. No, the stores named in the report included Macy’s,Victoria’s Secret, Bloomingdales, Saks … You need only to go to the TODAY show website to see the retailers listed.

Now, I know times are hard. I have said that the new “f” word, or “f” bomb, is the word “fee.” Retailers and companies are struggling to pay their bills at the expense of consumers.

All of it is troubling, but this is, well, it’s disgusting.

The report said that the lesson gleaned from this information is that we should wash all underwear or swimsuits that we buy before we wear them.

That’s true. That would be one lesson.

Yet another lesson, though, is that we, the consumers, should perhaps form a different kind of “tea party,” one where we stand up and say to banks, companies…and now, department stores and specifically lingerie departments … that they need to stop unethical behavior based on their greed.

And maybe we just need to stop supporting their greed by paying the costs they charge for merchandise or the fees they charge to survive … while they throw us under the bus in ways we never imagined they would.

Ladies, spread the word about this used underwear thing. Guys, you might want to stay away from purchasing thongs and underpants for your special ladies. Perfume works. Nice jewelry…

We have to protect ourselves, because clearly, the retailers and banks do not have our best interests at heart.

That’s just a candid observation.

I was listening to Ann Curry of NBC this morning talk about the devastation in Chile. I happen to love Ann Curry; her reporting is laced with compassion and caring, which I think is every bit as important as is accuracy.

Anyway, she was in Chile, and talked about how horrible is the aftermath of the 8.8. earthquake that happened on Saturday. I found myself holding my breath, to see if she would use the “L” word: looting.

Why? Because in the aftermath of Katrina and the earthquake in Haiti, I was incensed at how reporters zeroed in on the presence or possibility of looting. In Haiti, even as the horror was unfolding before our eyes, the reporters kept saying that the authorities were worried about looting. In New Orleans, following Katrina, when for days the people could not get food or water because nobody would deliver it, the reports again zeroed in as people took what they needed in order to survive. My God. People in New Orleans were standing on roofs, begging to be rescued. Others were on a hot, concrete bridge, dying in front of our eyes. People were stuffed into the Convention Center and the Superdome, with horrible to no facilities to use the bathroom. The people had no food, no water, and no help …and yet, the reporters concentrated on looting. Instead of going to New Orleans with food and water to help the people, the government sent the military with guns. Thank God for General Russell Honore, who ordered the men to put the guns down and help the people!

In Haiti, the fear or anticipation was in every report. I love Anderson Cooper, but even he laced his reports with the fear of looting. Again, I call out to God. What were the people supposed to do? There was no food, no water, no housing, no bathrooms … and yet there were survivors, from infants to old people, who needed to eat and have water in order to live – in spite of the devastation.

What I am afraid of is that the world lives with a veil over its ability to be fair when it comes to people of color, and if the people of color being dealt with are poor, the veil is even more dense. The world still has a tendency to see people of color as objects and not as human beings. There is compassion but it only goes so far. Instead of empathy there is fear and disdain, and a readiness to justify bad opinions of people of color by going to the worst case scenario, expecting the worst, ready to pounce on the people as opposed to lifting them. Fear of people of color is a disease of the world.

I still ache when I thinkof how Belgian doctors left post-op patients unattended, according to news reports, because night was falling and there was no one to protect them. I felt my heart fall to my feet. These were doctors, for goodness sake. They had operated on desperately wounded people … and they just left! I thank God for Sanjay Gupta for staying there with the patients, alone, with no other doctor to help, overnight.

People of color are people. They/we hurt, ache, yearn for life just like everyone else. The world has painted us as objects to be feared, not people to be cared for and respected. I applaud the resiliency of people of color everywhere, for we have endured not because of, but in spite of the world.

The people in Chile will “loot” because they are desperate. I wonder if the military will take up arms to keep that from happening, as they did in Haiti and New Orleans. And, I wonder if the much needed food and water will have as much difficulty getting to the people in Chile as it has had getting to the people of Haiti and New Orleans. Better it would have been for my soul if some compassionate soldier, while working to keep order, had been seen throwing loaves of bread, water and formula to desperate people instead of threatening their already uprooted lives with threats of even more pain.

Just a candid observation.