Happy New Year!
I am as excited about this new year as I have ever been. It seems like the possibilities for new growth and new opportunities are swirling around, and are tangible, palpable. It is a good feeling. It’s not about resolutions. It’s about a changed mind, a changed attitude, which didn’t happen all at once, at midnight on December 31, 29, but was a work in progress.
It feels like the foundation for a new life has been laid.
I am reading Wayne Dyer’s new book, “Excuses Begone!” and it is feeding this fledgling new spirit of mine. It is amazing how, when you are ready for a certain kind of nourishment, the “food” shows up. I find myself nodding in agreement with the belief that what we want and need is “out there,” not all that far away, and that if we can fix our minds to understand and accept that, a new life awaits us.
I have long objected to the notion that people have to wait until they die to “see” heaven, just like I have objected to the belief that one only “goes” to hell after death. Nope. People live hell and miss heaven while they are alive. We spend countless hours thinking about what was, or worrying about what will be, and in the process miss golden nuggets of “now” that we will never have again.
It finally hit me; or maybe it hit me again and I know understand. I am feeding off words and books that I merely glanced at before. The poem, “Invictus,” has become a battle cry of sorts for me; the end pronouncement that “I am the captain of my soul; I am the master of my fate,” feels like good, warm oatmeal, eaten to protect my spiritual immune system. I find myself mumbling those words over and over, and feel stronger the more I state them.
I am not sure what my new life will look like; I only know that already, it is new. I will probably not learn how to skydive, as someone asked if I wanted to do; neither am I interested in trying to learn how to speed down a mountain on a pair of skis. I think I will go skiing, though, just to say I tried it. I will write some songs and another book in 2010. I will. Since I am the captain of my soul and the master of my fate, the power to do or not to do lies within me. There is nobody to look to to do it for me, but that is not a complaint. It is a proclamation!
Ntozake Shange wrote that she’d found “god in herself” at the end of her play,”for colored girls who have considered suicide when the rainbow is enuf,” and Iyanla Vanzant wrote, “one day, my soul just opened up.” How about I know what they’re talking about. I have found God in myself and my soul is opening up day by day … and it feels good.
So, I write to share that this newness of life and spirit feels like “the gift,” the “something” that I have been looking for all my life but didn’t know it. The god in me smiles and makes me smile and believe and know … that this is a new chapter in a book that begs to be continued.
And that is a …candid observation!